Nick Lear from the Baptist Union always ends his great emails with some form of joke.  The last couple have ended with lines from the wonderful Peter Kay.  The last one was too good not to post: Peter Kay’s Universal Truths including …

1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3. You’ve never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps.
4. You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
5. Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
6. You never know where to look when eating a banana.
7. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
8. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
9. The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
10. It’s impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
11. You never ever run out of salt.
12. There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
13. No one knows where the metal coat hangers in their cupboards were first obtained from, or has any memory of buying them.
14. Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
15. The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
16. You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.