I’ve dipped in and out of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman over the last year. Over the last 24 hours I’ve finally sat down and read it properly. Whilst at times being hugely American and speaking from a different culture, it is very clearly and deservedly one of the defining books on marriage, and relationships in general.
His basic claim is that most marriages have two people who do love each other, but that often they aren’t expressing it in a way that their spouse would like. To help explain this, he believes that most of love can be explained through five key styles:
- quality time
- words of affirmation
- acts of service
- physical touch
He spends time explaining how often we love our spouse in the way we want to be loved, and that rarely is the way they wish to have love expressed. Each ‘love language’ has a chapter devoted to it which includes an example story, some telltale signs, and some example actions. This is where this book really comes into its own – it doesn’t stop at general theory but gives specific examples to take forward and try.
This book has a lot to say about the area of relationships, it is easy to read, so if you don’t already have it, go buy it, read it and look at how you can implement some of it.