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The latest in the People Are Awesome series has clips from videos uploaded in 2014. These people are doing awesome and crazy things – something I’ll certainly be using with my young people in the next few weeks:
Category Archives: Funny
The Challenge of Advent
Advent is here and with it the difficult decisions those who work with the church face!
Check out more cartoons from cartoonchurch.com
Goalkeeper has a night to forget in the FA Cup
York City goalkeeper Michael Ingham is left red-faced after his decision to go upfield for an attacking corner backfires.
Ingham made the foray forward as York looked for a last-gasp equaliser in their FA Cup first-round replay at AFC Wimbledon.
But the Dons won possession, leaving striker Matt Tubbs to put the ball into an empty net for his second of the night and a 3-1 victory for the home side.
Check out the video from 57 seconds onwards:
Church of England Ministry Status Codes
I loved the blog post on Waxing My Knees regarding CofE Ministry Status Codes, enjoy!
Here’s a list of Church of England Ministry Error Codes inspired by a recent conversation on a certain clergy web forum.
All are genuine http web error codes. ***Simon Douglas has pointed out that these are in fact ‘status codes, but he is a self-confessed geek***
400 Bad Request
No. You cannot ask God to smite Mrs Miggins.
401 Unauthorized
Similar to 403 Forbidden, but specifically for use when authentication is required and has failed or has not yet been provided. The Archdeacon has not got back to you and you can’t be licensed.
402 Payment Required
Reserved for future use.
The collection has been a bit short recently. No one can leave the service until they’ve given some (gift-aided) donations
403 Forbidden
The Wardens have taken your Church keys away. Unlike a 401 Unauthorized response, authenticating will make no difference.
404 Not Found
The requested resource could not be found but may be available again in the future. The vicar is unavailable. It is not possible to leave a message on their voice-mail.
405 Method Not Allowed
That is not how we celebrate the Communion in this tradition.
406 Not Acceptable
This parish has passed resolution A&B (please provide proof of Y Chromosome before continuing).
407 Proxy Authentication Required
The parish is under the authority of the Bishop of Ebbsfleet.
408 Request Timeout
The server didn’t turn up to help with communion
409 Conflict
You shouldn’t have tried to remove the pews
410 Gone
You succeeded in removing the pews
411 Length Required
See “Paschal Candle”
412 Precondition Failed
The candidate is not baptised
413 Request Entity Too Large
You can’t pray for that!
415 Unsupported Media Type
You’ve picked up a copy of the Church of England Newspaper. Stop. Put it down. Walk away.
416 Requested Range Not Satisfiable
You’ve attempted to lead a Common Worship service. Please try again using the Book of Common Prayer.
417 Expectation Failed
Welcome to the Church of England
418 I’m a teapot (RFC 2324) – [[This is a real http error code!]]
You over consecrated at communion. Go and sit quietly in a dark room.
419 Authentication Timeout (not in RFC 2616)
The Bishop is late for your licensing service.
420 Method Failure
You are not licensed in this province
422 Unprocessable Entity (WebDAV; RFC 4918)
Multi-faith service attempted. Logic error. Syntax undefined.
423 Locked (WebDAV; RFC 4918)
You’ve forgotten the safe key and the service registers are unaccessible
424 Failed Dependency (WebDAV; RFC 4918)
The family won’t do the eulogy. Stock response needed.
426 Upgrade Required
Liturgical reform is in progress
428 Precondition Required (RFC 6585)
The candidate must be baptised to perform this rite. See Error#412
429 Too Many Requests (RFC 6585)
The Parish has sent too many requests in a given amount of time. [Common Error]
431 Request Header Fields Too Large (RFC 6585)
The Glebe land needs managing [Largely a redundant error]
440 Login Timeout
Synod Error. Indicates that session has expired. House of Laity to blame.
444 No Response
You’ve asked a question of the Archdeacon. Standard error.
449 Retry With
Automatic response to 444. Expect boot loop.
450 Blocked by Windows Parental Controls
Bad Vicar
451 Unavailable For Legal Reasons
Very bad vicar.
451 Redirect
Check out the Church Times job website.
494 Request Header Too Large
See 431 but apply to multi-parish benefice.
495 Cert Error
Crisisof faith. Try ‘retreat’ command.
496 No Cert
Sabbatical required
498 Token expired/invalid
Try using bread instead of wafers
499 Client Closed Request
Change suggested. Standard parish response.
499 Token required
Only used in parishes where Children in Communion has been implemented.
Edvard Munch’s The Scream Takes the Ice Bucket Challenge
At one shocking moment, the Norwegian painter Edvard Munch suddenly felt the icy existential horror of the human experience. Then he wrote:
I was walking along the road with two friends
The Sun was setting – the Sky turned blood-red.
And I felt a wave of Sadness – I paused
tired to Death – Above the blue-black
Fjord and City Blood and Flaming tongues hovered
My friends walked on – I stayed
behind – quaking with Angst – I
felt the great Scream in Nature
So I challenge the Mona Lisa and Whistler’s Mother
Via: Neatorama
Downton Abbey Cast Responds to ‘Water Bottle-Gate’ Photo Fail
The cast of Downton Abbey has responded to the snickering, following the release of a publicity still that included a water bottle — an object not quite era appropriate for a period drama television series set in the early 20th century.
Each holding a water bottle, the show’s actors and actresses posed for a photo (above) in support of WaterAid, a non-profit organization based in the United Kingdom that seeks to provide clean water, hygiene education and safe toilets worldwide.
“It brought a really big smile to my face when the cast of Downton Abbey said that they wanted to support WaterAid’s work. How fantastic that the attention created over one water bottle ends up benefiting some of the world’s poorest communities through access to safe, clean water today,” WaterAid chief executive Barbara Frost said on the organization’s website.
The hubbub all started when someone noticed a water bottle in the background of a photo released to promote Season 5 of Downton Abbey.
Online commentators had a bit of fun with the error, posting photoshopped versions of the photo:
Funny headlines from around the world
Some of the more random headlines from the BBC News website over the last week or so:
- Facebook parking revenge praised: A council praises a parking campaigner who is posting images on Facebook to embarrass drivers.
- Ex-criminal gains criminology degree: Reformed criminal Natalie Atkinson, who says she committed more than 100 offences, gets a first class honours degree in criminology.
- School’s letter to pupils goes viral: A letter sent to pupils at a primary school with their test results telling them there are “many ways of being smart” goes viral.
- Early risers ‘less moral at night’: “Morning people”, who are more alert early in the day, are more likely to cheat and behave unethically in the night hours, researchers claim.
- NZ teenage girl plays men’s rugby: An 18-year-old girl joins an all-male rugby team.
- Man locked in toilets for 24 hours: A council “apologises unreservedly” after a man is found locked in toilets in Bath, a day after their closure.
- Indian boy has 232 teeth removed: Doctors in India extract 232 teeth from the mouth of a 17-year-old boy in a seven-hour operation.
- Drone operator finds missing man: A drone operator tells the BBC how he located an elderly man in Wisconsin who had been missing for three days.
- Queen ‘photo-bombs’ athletes’ selfie: Two Australian Commonwealth Games hockey players have a huge surprise when the Queen appears smiling in the back of their selfie.
- Woolly outfits surprise for statues: A trio of statues in Cardiff Bay have found themselves clothed in an unexpected layer of woolly clothes by “guerrilla knitters”.
- Didcot power station towers blown up: Three enormous cooling towers which have stood for more than 40 years at Didcot A Power Station in Oxfordshire are demolished.
- Flying axe near-miss on US motorway: A US vehicle passenger is “shaken up” after an axe flew off the back of a lorry on a motorway and crashed midway through a windshield, police say.
- India pregnant woman in daring swim: An Indian woman in her ninth month of pregnancy swims nearly a kilometre across a river swollen by monsoon rain to get to hospital and avoid a home birth.
- India teacher ‘absent for 23 years’: An Indian state school says one of its teachers has been absent for 23 years of her 24-year career.
- Safety fears at Beatles’ crossing: The use of a lollipop lady is being considered at London’s Abbey Road crossing as tourists flock to create the scene made famous by the Beatles.
- Denmark opens ‘free’ supermarket: Danish shoppers to get ‘free’ goods for product reviews
How to Park a Go Kart
Watch this young boy park a go kart like a boss, using his momentum to roll backwards down a corridor, precisely into the spot he aimed for. Then he walks away like a boss.
According to a comment at reddit, this is Marielyst Gokart & Paintball Center in Marielyst, Denmark. This kid grew up here, as his father is the racetrack owner. So he came by his skills honestly.
Bishop of Leeds new robes
Loved this blog post from Anglican Memes:
As the new Diocese of West Yorkshire and the Dales prepared to enthrone its Diocesan Bishop, Nick Baines, details of his specially-designed robes were revealed.
Having been tipped off about the likely result of the General Synod vote on Saturday which made the wearing of robes optional, Bishop Nick requested a groundbreaking new design of Episcopal apparel which he strenuously denies is based on the Liverpool FC home kit.
His mitre bears what appears to be a hitherto unseen Diocesan acronym YNWA “Yorkshire North & West Areas”
Note: Bishop Nick and the Area Bishops for the new Diocese do actually have newly-created robes which have been designed by Polly Meyell. These can be seen on the West Yorkshire and the Dales website.
Life with a toddler
I love this! Can any other parents relate?
Someone once told me it’s a good thing toddlers are so cute and sweet and loving because that’s what keeps you from killing them. Grant Snider of Incidental Comics has an 18-month-old daughter and is well aware of the extremities of that difficult, dangerous, but oh-so-memorable age. He created this wonderful comic for Fathers Day.
Word War II veteran disappears for Normandy trip
An 89-year-old WW2 veteran disappeared from his nursing home without saying where he was going and went to France for the D-Day commemorations.
The former mayor of Hove, Bernard Jordan, left the home at 10:30 BST on Thursday, and was reported missing to Sussex Police that evening. Staff later discovered he had joined other veterans in France and was safe and well at a hotel in Ouistreham.
Earlier, it was believed care home staff stopped him going to the events. Brighton and Hove police had tweeted: “90 year old veteran reported missing from care home. Turns out they’d said no to him going to #DDay70 but he went anyway #fightingspirit”
Hundreds of veterans have been marking the 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings in France, with events on the beaches of Normandy.
Mr Jordan, served in the Royal Navy, was mayor of Hove from 1995-96, is a resident of The Pines nursing home in Hove. The pensioner had gone out wearing a grey raincoat and a jacket underneath with his war medals on, the police force said. A spokesman said:
“We have spoken to the veteran who called the home today and are satisfied that the pensioner is fine and that his friends are going to ensure he gets back to Hove safely over the next couple of days after the D-Day celebrations finish. Once the pensioner is home, we will go and have a chat with him to check he is OK.”
Nev Kemp, the police commander for the City of Brighton & Hove, tweeted: “Love this: 89yr old veteran reported missing by care home who said he can’t go to Normandy for #DDay70 remembrance. We’ve found him there!”
Funny headlines from around the world
Some of the more random headlines from the BBC News website over the last week or so:
- Saudi street fridge to feed the poor: A man in the Saudi city of Hail puts a fridge outside his house so people can leave food for the needy.
- Elderly driver hits 11 parked cars: An elderly driver in Erfurt, Germany, damages 11 parked cars while trying to exit a multi-storey car park.
- Dating show man in murder confession: A contestant on a Turkish television dating show reveals he murdered his former wife and a former lover – and vows not to kill his next partner.
- Shard hotel rooms ‘not so private’: Guests at a luxury hotel in a central London landmark are being warned to close the blinds at night to avoid being seen from neighbouring rooms.
- US twin babies born holding hands: A pair of US twin sisters who have a rare condition which meant they shared an amniotic sac have been born holding hands.
- US baby survives 11-storey fall: A baby in the US state of Minnesota has survived an 11-storey fall from an apartment balcony, local media report.
- US trio return $40,000 found in sofa: Three friends in New York find $40,000 (£24,000) in an old couch they bought but return it to the woman whose name was written on the envelope.
- Cat brings bag of cannabis home: NZ woman finds something strange on her doorstep
- French embarrassment over rail error: The French train operator SNCF has discovered that 2,000 new trains it ordered at a cost of 15bn euros are too wide for many regional platforms.
- How Greg got his holiday: How one man’s leave request became a top trend on Twitter
- Ghostbusters car stops the traffic: There’s something strange in the neighbourhood in Surrey – a replica of the 1959 Cadillac ECTO-1 ambulance from the movie Ghostbusters.
- Italy police get new Lamborghini: Lamborghini gives a sports car to Italian police.
- Charity worker rescues Osborne’s cat: Freya, Chancellor George Osborne’s cat, is rescued by a charity worker after straying more than a mile from her Downing Street home.
- BBC talks to youngest girl on Everest: Thirteen-year-old Indian schoolgirl Malavath Poorna, the youngest girl ever to climb Mount Everest, tells the BBC she wants to be a role model for tribal children.
- Game stunt causes office evacuation: Watch Dogs’ publisher apologises after a publicity stunt for the video game caused the bomb squad to evacuate the offices of a leading news site.
- Pensioners loot church ‘for thrills’: One motive was the rush of doing something ‘forbidden’.