Children of Divorce More Likely to Become Smokers

Smoking

The Atlantic has reported on how children of divorce are more likely to become smokers:

Researchers at the University of Toronto weren’t able to prove that children of divorced parents turn to cigarettes as a coping mechanism from lingering childhood trauma. But they did find that people whose parents had divorced when they were children were at a significantly increased risk of initiating smoking.

Of the 19,000 U.S adults included in the study, the odds of having smoked 100 or more cigarettes increased by 48 and 39 percent for sons and daughters of separated or divorced parents, respectively. The “100 or more” metric is the CDC’s way of deciding who counts as a smoker (people who never reach that milestone get to be labeled “never smokers.”)

Gender-specific association between childhood adversities and smoking in adulthood: findings from a population-based studywas published in Public Health.

11 year old fakes being kidnapped to avoid parents evening!

11 year old fakes being kidnapped to avoid parents evening!

A boy in Spain was dreading a planned parents evening.  He had not done well in school, so he anticipated a bad meeting. Fortunately, he came up with a brilliant solution:

Early on Monday afternoon the unnamed 11-year-old son of a Spanish police officer stationed in the north-western town of Xinzo de Limia sent a text message from his mobile phone to tell his father he had been kidnapped.

When his father phoned back, the boy confirmed the worst. He had been snatched off the street as he was putting out the rubbish, he said, and was locked in the boot of a car. He had no idea where his kidnappers were taking him, but knew that the car he was in was a blue Seat. […]

It was only two hours later that the boy’s father noticed the keys to a spare flat owned by the family were missing.

The child was soon discovered there and reportedly explained that he had been terrified by the prospect of his parents going to school to speak to his teachers.

Read the full story here

Ministering to Children conference: Q&A with the speakers

Just before the end of the conference there was a Q&A with the speakers

How much do you refer to the parents, in resourcing them to disciple their children?
Colin: Who is Israel in Deut. 6 is it parents, God, the church, the nation, all of the above. It is a partnership from all. Anyone who is involved sees it as a partnership between church and parents.
Andy: a leader who was a mum told another child off, and the parent complained, had to work through it. We have to see all God’s children as our children.
Pete: primary role for looking after children is me, and if you’re being paid then people assume you will do it. The more we can do to help parents the better.
Helen: Parents are desperate to hear feedback at parents evening, what opportunities do we give.
Jane: remember the non Christian families as they don’t have parents to help them. Church can provide a safer community, helping families to connect with 20 mums doing toddler groups, become a Christian through Alpha, and now have tough challenges moving forward.

Do you have a stance on non-Christians helping to lead children’s work?
Andy: a bunch of non Christians who were in worship group but not leading, all of them were involved in a mentoring relationship moving forwards toward faith, so no problem so long as in that relationship and have boundaries.
Helen: need to be very clear in boundaries and relationship, and you would never want into be outnumbering the Christians, and sympathetic to Christian faith. Seen many volunteers come to faith, and equally how we do know that our “sound” Christians aren’t having crises of faith etc.
Colin: is it on God’s heart or yours, is it because you don’t have enough people to fill the roles. Anyone can paint but to what standard?

Love the idea of integrating children more fully into church but what does that actually look like?
Pete: that is the heart of Messy Church, an all-age group that meets midweek or Saturday. Don’t go to Sunday church as am a member of the Messy Church.
Jane: preached in a church, did the singing and liturgy, and the Vicar said we will go to groups, if want arty and crafty go here, if film go here, if discussion go here, and if want to listen to Jane go here. As started preaching someone interrupted with a question and ended as a dialogue sermon.
Teresa: a common theme from all-ages in Godly Play is that they have their own spirituality, it is visual and so they taken in from where they are.
Andy: don’t need to dumb it down, too many parishioners don’t attend as think it will be dumbed down,
Colin: what is church, a relationship with God and each other, a discussion with church leaders sounds important.

How to survive being 13 by a 14 year old

Be careful what pictures you put on Facebook …

A Netmums survey suggests that 13 is the most difficult age of all.  A 14-year-old has written a fantastic piece in The Guardian explaining how to get through it, well worth a read:

According to a Netmums survey, 13 is the most difficult age. But it’s not only parents who find it hard going – it’s tough for the teenagers too. Here’s how to make it through to being 14, by Miranda Smith, aged 14 and four months.

1. Don’t put up pictures of yourself on Facebook with a bottle of WKD beside you and a comment like: “Got SO drunk last night.” No one thinks it’s cool – and WKD is only 4% proof.

2. You’re going to feel a whole lot more grumpy when you’re 13 than you did at 12. But the thing is it’s not just you – every other 13-year-old feels exactly the same. Knowing that helps a bit.

3. It’s tempting, but try not to be on your phone 24/7. It really bugs your parents but, worse, it’s boring for your friends.

4. Thirteen is the age when you’re likely to start getting attention from the opposite sex. Don’t get carried away by this – there’s nothing more moist than a lovesick 13-year-old.

5. Don’t send pictures of yourself in your underwear to ANYONE – because they’ll end up being spread around, and you’ll regret it.

6. Your friends will annoy you, make you angry and get on your nerves. But don’t insult them on Twitter – 13-year-olds do that all the time. Twitter is a public forum, and if you start tweeting about your issues anyone can get involved even if it’s none of their business.

7. A few months ago, you hardly thought about your body at all. Now it’s the only thing on your mind. Of course your body matters: but the thing to think is that no one else notices it as much as you do. So try to chill about it.

8. At precisely the moment when you decide there’s no better way to spend a Saturday than staying in bed til late afternoon, your parents will become obsessed with you doing the chores for them. Rule of thumb: you can only say, “I’ll do it later,” five times. After that, just do it.

9. Thirteen-year-olds have massive fights with their friends, all the time. A year on, you won’t even remember what those fights were about – but you will remember how unhappy they made you feel.

10. Plan a really good party for when you reach 14. When the parents say they want to be around you’ll think, “OMG no,” … but it’s probably going to be best to let them stay. Agree on the conditions, and stick to your side of the bargain provided they stick to theirs.